Memorial

I felt compelled to go home for Memorial Day this year. It seems like most of the holidays lately have found me feeling like I need to be close to the people I love in any way I can. Obviously this is in reaction to all the "firsts" that we've been going through since my mom passed. The first Christmas, Easter, etc. So our little family loaded up the family van, yet again, and made the drive to Utah. The trip was awesome. Like filling up my cup so I can make it to the next "first."
Each year around Memorial Day my family opens up the family cabin for the season. I haven't been around to participate in this busy day for a lot of years. I forgot how much there was to do! The significance of reopening the cabin is deep and emotional. That place has held so many important memories for me from all the different phases of my life. And the cabin represents my mom. It is her family that has roots that go back several generations. It is why I am so close with my aunts and uncles and cousins on her side of the family. And it is really why I am who I am today. I love that place!
It was sweet to drive up the dirt road away from the city and take a deep breath of clean air. Every breath is like healing in your lungs. And even though my mom's lungs were what got her in the end, she loved going to the cabin until she just physically couldn't go anymore. We missed her more than words express this year. I looked around at her decorations with a different eye. The surprising amount of American flag paraphernalia no longer made me roll my eyes, but made me kind of sentimental. The old piano that she rescued from a fire and repainted forest green was more than just a piano, it became a symbol of her dedication to music and the arts wherever we lived. As we crashed after a long hard day of work, I smiled at how comfy the couches were that she'd had recovered because they were still comfortable even though the old fabric had worn out. I looked at my family and felt grateful that my mom had been the co-creator of it all.
On Memorial Day my little family went to the cemetery where her new headstone was recently placed. It looked beautiful.
Now for some pictures:
My little cowboy exploring at the cabin

Afton and Ben sport their cowboy hats

Me and the kids at the cemetary

Taking a walk with Jared's Grandma Green. What a fun visit!